tinychatting:

my talents include being able to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes being distracted by my phone

prlncest:

"you look like your parents"

yeah i have this theory called genetics

retiredjesus:

*fucks something serious up*

me: shit my bad

(Source: retiredjesus)

vvankinq:

iphone420:

i hope i lose 800 pounds by tomorrow morning

I hope I gain £800 by tomorrow morning

(Source: sidnugget)

dscourage:

we may be millions of miles apart but just talking to you is more than enough and always makes my day

clestroying:

When your mum yells at you and says you cant go out on the weekend

image

blhak:

If you’re reading this, you’ve been in coma for almost 20 years now. We’re trying a new technique. We don’t know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope it works. Please wake up, we miss you.